Tuesday, October 22, 2013

APOLOGIZE

THEY SINCERELY APOLOGIZE

These guys' apologies are so good, they deserve an Academy Award for their performances. Seriously. Clap! Clap!  So good. In fact, the crowd is now at a roaring applause, the theater audience demanding more, more! Grrrrr!


Ooohhhhhhh  . . . They're diabolically good.

I'm just sayin'. Been there and I bought it. Over and over, and over and over . . untold times.

When they are inappropriate, crossing even the ugly abuse line, they know it. 

Or perhaps, they are sensing you are getting tired of the abuse, that you are forging for a way out, getting control, getting ready to leave.

You, the victim, you, the abused, the easy make. The hunted. Now, you are a Goddess, the Virgin Mary, you're perfect. 

How blind they were not see it. 

All accolades are to you now . . . their jibber jabbor is reflective of someone who has really, 'seen the light!'

Like Cinderella, Snow White, The Fairy Princess. You are now adored. 

They buy you flowers, chocolates, they plead with you to forgive them and assure that it will never happen again. They hold your hand to their heart so you can feel how truly apologetic they are.

They bribe, promise. I'll go to therapy, they say. It'll never happen again (the abuse)

What is said - and what is sad - is that for you, all is forgiven. 

You love them!

Horribly, hugely, terribly! You are immensely in love with them.

You are predisposed to want to believe them. This is your lover, your life partner, the father of your child. 

In reconciling his abuse - and you do - you do it automatically, graciously, almost as if you're flying high on drugs. For heaven's sake, of course you forgive him, all you have ever desired was harmony.

This is a fact.

This is how it was for me.


When Mr. Christian Man apologized I felt like all was alright in the world. My shoulders could finally, once and for all, find a place to settle and be. I could let my mouth release a deep breath and I could breathe. All was right. Finally. I could let out a sigh.

I have never doubted Mr. Christian Man's sincerity. Never. Not one day of my life. I never doubted his honesty, love, faithfulness. I never doubted anything about him. (To this day. Smile.)

This man that I'd married because I thought he was worthy, was back. 

I'd projected myself unto him. I'd been infactuated with him. I probably behaved in untoward manners. I thought he was worthy, because he was sincere ad infinitum. 

He'd been my knight in shining armor regarding Christianity and a man, zealous about life, knowledge, passion. He was back.

I'm just sayin'. I've been there. I bought it. Over and over, and over and over . . untold times. All I ever desired was harmony. 

But the abuse did happen again, despite my wishes for harmony.

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